joyful occasions/cosas gozosos EN ESPANOL!!

bueno...un amigo me corrigio para no escribir mi blog en espanol (lo siento raul yo pense que nadie estaba leyendolo)

Bueno...fui a Nebraska para la boda de mi tio este fin de semana pasado. El tiene 53 anos y nunca estababa casado antes. Mi tia nueva (jerri) fue la novia de el en universidad. Ella se caso con otro hombre pero de repente divorciaron. Los dos fueron solteros por muchos anos esperando a Dios de llevar su match de alma (no se como se dice "soul mate"). Entonces, este fin de semana reunimos en el campamiento de iglesia Baptista (si mi familia son protestantes) para celebrar el tiempo perfecto de Dios. Durante del ceremonio yo estaba pensando muchas cosas aqui son algunos:

1. Yo no puedo esperar de casarme (bueno...puedo y voy a hacerlo)
Dios esta confirmando en muchas maneras durante estos semanas, meses, y anos pasados mi vocacion al matromonio. Yo estoy en un lugar donde puedo ver la belleza y tengo el deseo de ser completamente de Dios. Puedo ver una vida religiosa y tambien puedo ver la vida soltera como misionera, y tambien puedo ver una vida familiar. Y ya solo quiero hacer que Dios quiere....y creo es casarme.
Pero, tambien, este fin de semana fue sobre entiendo el tiempo perfecto de Dios. Se que ahora no es el tiempo para mi de casarme. Voy a entrar universidad de medicina, ahora no es el tiempo para entrar en el matromonio. Pero, es el tiempo de permitir a Dios de formarme como mujer, futura esposa y madre que EL quiere para me de ser. Hoy es el momento de preparacion para mi vocacion. Por favor, siguen rezando para mi, mi vocacion, y mi esposo futuro quienquieria el puede ser.

2. Encanto ser Catolica!
Mi tia Sandi es un pastor baptista...y ella hizo un buen trabajo en el servicio pero para mi...es como no son casados porque no habia una misa, no habia JESUS en la eucaristia!! Sigo rezando para la conversion de mi familia a la fe catolico!!

3. Voy a ser doctora!!
Esta piensamiento fue claro para mi todo este fin de semana...se (y probablemente uds. tambien) que este semestre no fue facile para mi. Pero la verdad es que estes cosas que estoy estudiando ...no es el parte gozozo. Nadie le gusta este parte...es duro con mucho estress. Pero, menos el estress y el sentido que todo mi futuro esta en los manos de mis notas de este ano...a mi me gusta que estoy estudiando. Me encanta medicina, y hospitales, y ser doctora. Es facile de querer una vida mas simple y facile, que no es llena de luchas...pero Dios no me ha llamado a una vida como esto. Todos luchamos, solo en maneras diferentes. La unica profesion (menos esposa y madre) que quiero es de ser doctora. Y si Dios permite...va a pasar en estos anos. Solo tengo que sobrevivr los proximos 5 meses.

4. Mi vida esta llena de sacrificios pequenos que debo ofrecer.
me di cuenta en estes semanas pasados que tengo mucho de ofrecer a Dios. No son grandes como enfermedades, etc. son pequenos pero creo poderosos por la salvacion de almas. En vez de quejarme sobre mi estress o mis examenes, debo ofrecerles para mi familia, las rosas de maria, los misioneros, etc. Para mi, de no entrar en mi vocacion al matromonio ahora es un sacrificio...ofrezcalo para arriba (no se como se dice "offer it up"). De no vivir en Honduras es un sacrificio...ofrezcalo para arriba!!!! Como santa teresita creo que mi camino hacia la santidad seria una de sacrificios pequenos...

Bueno...entonces, empiezo este semestre renovado en mi animo...con miedo cuando veo tamano de los problemas y projectos pero con la piensamiento en mi mente y alma que la lucha no es mio...Dios esta conmigo y EL va a luchar para mi. Solo tengo que tratar mi mejor y confiar en El. Por favor, rezan para mi y mis estudios. Y Ustedes estan en mis oraciones...ten paciencia con mi espanol se que estoy perdiendo mucho pero estoy tratando. Ojala voy a tomar un clase de espanol este semestre tambien. Rezan para que puedo ofrecer mis sufrimientos y sacrificios pequenos cada dia por la salvacion del almas. Rezan para mi hermana...el diablo esta luchando fuerte para ella...y por todo de mi familia. Les quiero!!!

UNA COSA MAS...MI EXAMEN DE ENTRADA A LA U DE MEDICINA ES 31 DE MAYO!! POR FAVOR AYUNAR Y REZAR ESTE DIA!! Este examen determinara todo mi futuro!!

ALABADO SEA JESU CRISTO....AHORA Y POR SIEMPRE!!!

joyful occasions/ cosas gozosos

I just flew to Omaha Nebraska this weekend for my uncle's wedding. He's 53 and has never been married before. My new Aunt Jerri and he had dated in college but had separated, she got married and then divorced a few years later. They've both been single for a long time and waiting on God to bring them their soul mate. So this weekend we met at the American Baptist camp in Omaha (yes, my family is baptist) to celebrate God's perfect timing.
As I sat there, listening to "God blessed the broken road that led me straight to you" sobbing (of course) there were a few thoughts running through my head:

1) I can't wait to get married.
God has continually been confirming my vocation to marriage over the last few weeks and months. Getting to the point (where I'm still at I believe) of loving religious life and feeling called to serve God with all I have...the point of really not caring one way or the other. Once I reached this point...He keeps confirming in my heart, my prayers, and my discernment- my vocation to marriage.
That being said, this weekend was also about understanding and waiting for God's perfect time. Now is NOT the time for me to get married. I'm about to start med school for crying out loud. That being said, it is the time to continue to allow God to mold me into the woman HE wants me to be so I can be the best wife, and mother possible. Please continue to pray for me and my vocational discernment...and my future spouse whoever he may be.

2) I love being Catholic.
My Aunt Sandi is a Baptist minister and she did a wonderful job with the ceremony...but to me it almost feels like they're not really married because there was no mass...no sacrament...no Eucharist. But it was still beautiful...but I still LOVE BEING CATHOLIC...
in fact..my aunt even talked about the sacrament of marriage and gave a shout out to me and my parents (the only catholics there) saying something along the lines of "we protestants don't believe in sacraments, but if we were going to marriage would be it..."

3) I'm going to be a doctor!!
That thought was very clear to me all weekend, and really over this past week. I know (as do most of you) that this year has not been easy for me. This is the crappy part that's hard...but I DO love medicine. I shadowed a friend of mine who is a doctor last weekend and loved it. I love medicine and other than being a wife and a mother, there is nothing I want to do more.
It was also really exciting this weekend to visit University of Nebraska medical school (my mom's alumni) and Creighton University (my second choice med school). To see that in truth, God willing, I will be a medical student someday soon. I just have to survive the next 5 months.

4) My life is full of small sacrifices that I need to learn to offer up (this was a weekend revelation not just a wedding one)
I realized (esp when talking with my mother) that I need to learn to keep offering up small things for the salvation of souls. Instead of complaining about my stress or my grades I need to offer it up. For me, not being married right now is a sacrifice, OFFER IT UP! Not being in Honduras is a HUGE sacrifice...Offer it UP!! I think there's nothing good that I can be doing these days but there is...I can be growing in holiness and offering up my small sufferings for the people I love most.


So here goes nothing....I begin this semester rejuvenated and still daunted at the size of the task but reminded by God that it is HIS battle and not mine. Please continue to pray that I can be successful in my studies and can continue to offer up my daily sufferings (however small they may be) I ask for your prayers for my sister and my family as we continue to grow closer to God in this new year!!

ALSO, MARK YOUR CALENDERS...MCAT EXAM IS MAY 31ST PLEASE FAST AND PRAY!!!

PRAISED BE JESUS CHRIST...NOW AND FOREVER!!

revelations

A good friend of mine just informed me that I sound depressed in my blogs. Forgive me for that! I should be able to find joy in all things, and I do. The truth is that I usually blog when I've hit the point of not having anywhere else to put my emotions. I'm doing well. I'm struggling and working hard, and somedays I don't know if I can do this. Honestly, I know I can't do this...but GOD can.
I spent this last weekend shadowing a friend of mine, and confirming my vocation again, not only to marriage and family, but also to medicine. I do love medicine and the practice of it. The only thing that concerns me is if it will hinder my vocation to marriage, but seeing as how God has not given me a spouse yet, I shouldn't concern myself with it. But be assured, I still love what I'm doing, and remind me of that please when I'm discouraged. This is God's calling for my life and I will continue in Joy to complete it. Please continue to pray for me as I do for all of you! God be with you all!

fitting quote

so I came across this quote from Grey's anatomy the other day...it seems especially fitting right now with 2 exams down and one to go.

''At the end of the day, the fact that we have the courage to still be standing is reason enough to celebrate.''

- Grey's Anatomy

New names...

I've decided temporarily to change the name of my blog...Beloved...is the new name. This has been a most powerful word for me for about four years now. February 7, 2003 one of my closest friends from childhood was killed by a drunk driver. She was an amazing woman of faith, someone who radiated God's love like no one I've ever met. She challenged me, and loved me...so well.. She was a woman after the heart of the blessed mother...with a gentle and quiet spirit. As you can see she is still impacting my life. Not long before her death, she wrote to some of her friends

" I have learned that the Christian life is not meant to be a life of rules and discouragement, a life of giving up things we hope for but tell ourselves we cannot have because they are "bad¨ or 'wrong'. Jesus died so that we would not be burdened! He took all of our burdens and all that he asks for is our love! If we seek Him and seek Him purely and truly, we will see that Christianity is about freedom. It is about embracing life, living each day to the full. Life is not about being good and bad; it's about loving God and feeling that passion and living out our dreams and being made whole."- Laura Treppendahl

At her funeral her mentor gave a eulogy. She talked about how during their Bible study the year before they were studying the names of the Bible. For their last class she had asked each of the girls to pray about what name God had given them. My friend Laura went up to her after class and said "Beloved...that's the name He has given me. I'm His beloved." There was rejoicing the day she entered into heaven...she was ready...she was His beloved. I realized that I am His beloved as well...no matter what happens...I am His beloved.

Christ YEARNS for us...that is why He came in the flesh...because we are His beloved. May the Lord, the God of creation, who loves us so extravagantly, this advent season, give us the grace to embrace and accept that we are His beloved! Come quickly Lord Jesus, enter our Hearts!!!

Seven Sorrows of Mary

The Blessed Virgin Mary grants seven graces ot the souls who honor her daily by saying seven Hail Mary's and meditating on her tears and dolors. The devotion was passed on by St. Brigid.

The Seven Graces

1) I will grant peace to their families.

2) They will be enlightened about the divine mysteries.

3) I will console them in their pains and I will accompany them in their work.

4) I will give them as much as they ask for as long as it does not oppose the adorable will of my divine Son or the sanctification of their souls.

5) I will defend them in their spiritual battles with the infernal enemy and I will protect them at every instant of their lives.

6) I will visibly help them at the moment of their death, they will see hte face fo their Mother.

7) I have obtained (this grace) from mjy divine Son, that those who propagate this devotion to my tears and dolors, will be taken directly from this earthly life to eternal happiness since all their sins will be forgiven and my Son and I will be theri eternal consolation and joy.

Seven Sorrows of Mary

1) The prophecy of Simeon (Luke 2: 34,35)

2) The flight into Egypt (Matthew 2:13-14)

3) The loss of the child Jesus in the temple (Luke 2: 43-45)

4) the meeting of Jesus and Mary on the way of the cross.

5) the Crucifixion.

6) The taking down of the Body of Jesus from the cross.

7) the burial of Jesus.

Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with thee. Blessed art thou amongst women, and blessed is the fruit of thy womb, Jesus. Holy Mary, mother of God, pray for us sinners, now and at the hour of our death. AMEN

Our Lady of Sorrows...pray for Us.

drowning

I've been having bad dreams lately....I don't know if it's the stress or what. But dreams where I explode with anger. Last night I dreamt that I was at dinner with my best friend and my parents and I just exploded screaming all the things I've thought but haven't said...I was slamming a chair into the ground (like I did with my physics book one day when I was uber frustrated) and I was crying..."can't you see I'm drowning...I can't do this". I know what freud would say...
It's weird...i alternate with good and bad days. Today was a bad day. A day when i realized just how alone I am here. I don't have family here. My family in Honduras has forgotten I exist, my family (blood- other than my parents) think I'm a radical nut, my virginia beach family is far away and still getting to know me, and the people here in charlottesville are amazing, but they're not my sisters who know my soul so well. I just feel so alone today. Being Catholic is hard...it means I have to quit volunteering at this hispanic clinic becasue they're in partnership with planned parenthood...it means when we go out I'm not wasted hooking up with someone because it's not what I do and it's not what God is asking of me (okay...that one's not very hard to give up)....it means that in almost every discussion about medicine or ethics I'M ALONE!!
Today was a bad day...maybe tomorrow will be better...