Gratitude

So I'm getting a procedure done tomorrow to check out my esophagus...nothing really to worry about but I'll still be mostly out of it while they do it. In typical worry wart fashion I wanted to go to confession before this procedure, after all it's been almost 2 months since the last time I went (EEEK!!!). It's amazing how the grime of sin builds up over time...I haven't felt this need for confession in a while, and although I have no mortal sin on my soul, I could feel the dirt and weight of the hundreds (probably thousands) of venial sins built up over the last 2 months.

My penance for confession was to spend 3 minutes in front of the crucifix thanking the Lord. During my time in front of Christ, kneeling at the communion rail I was overwhelmed with gratitude.

I realized that (God forbid) should I die tomorrow I have no real regrets in my life.

I have been SO blessed in my life!! I have been given so much love, and friendship and fellowship.

I have traveled around the world, done almost everything I have ever wanted to do, and been blessed with a strong relationship with my Lord. Should I die, I know where I am going (most likely purgatory but I could hope for higher right). I know that there is an eternity waiting for me and when we think about life, our whole existence here on earth, even if it is more than 100 years, is still nothing but a blink of an eye in the realm of eternity. But my blink of an eye here has been full of blessings. I have the most wonderful parents who have done nothing but love me and support me. They are truly my best friends and I can tell them everything, I can't imagine my life without them.

I have been blessed with the opportunity to receive a wonderful education, first at BC, and now in medical school. I have traveled the world, gone to almost everywhere I have ever wanted to go, seen the beauty of other countries, and walked through Rome, most importantly I have shared those journeys with those I love most. What comes to mind is the pilgrimage that my parents, and I made with my best friend Etel almost 3 years ago. We took a whirlwind tour around Italy, including Rome, Pietriclina, Monte Cassino, Assisi, Venice, Lanciano, and my favorite...Loreto. Loreto is where the holy house where Jesus was raised is (yes I know he was born and raised in Nazareth...see this website for the explanation http://www.sacred-destinati

ons.com/italy/loreto-holy-house). Regardless of your beliefs about angels moving the house (see the website to understand what I'm talking about) there was a great peace there for

me... a great feeling of holiness.

Aside from my world travels, I have been blessed to live in Honduras for 2 years....to live in a wonderful community of believers and to meet the most holy and inspiring people I have

ever known. My whole experience in Honduras is forever written on my heart.

I will never forget my abuelas, especially dona paulita and dona

margharita. My girls, Candida, Jenny, Keilin, Rixie, Dulce, Josie, Erika, Suyapa, Milagro, and all the others...they are forever written on my heart and in my prayers. These beautiful young women who strive for holiness, who burst with joy and inspire me with their desires for growth. God was good enough to show me during my time in Honduras, just how wretched I am...that I can accomplish nothing but that I could learn so much. I learned about humility, love, compassion, hospitality, and perseverance. I was blessed to be a part of that community, and the community of the Missioners and the CFR's. I know that I would be a completely different person today were it not for them.

Basically, when I look at my life, I see a woman who has been blessed beyond all understanding. Why was I born into a life of privilege to parents who loved me unconditionally? when I was so far from God, He brought me back and called me to the truth. He called me out of darkness and gave me the grace to walk into the light. The best part and most humbling part, is that He continues to do that...He continues to love me. Much like Peter I have denied Christ multiple times in my life, and He keeps forgiving me.

When I look at my life I see a woman who is blessed to have had so many life experiences, opportunities, and most importantly to have been LOVED beyond what I am worthy of.

I have lived my dreams..I have been a ballerina, actress, college student, missionary, and now a medical student.

I have been a daughter, sister, and a friend. Although I know there is much more God could (and hopefully will) use me for, I can also say that should I die tomorrow I have lived a wonderful life, full of adventure, joy, and love and that I could not ask for more. All that I have is a gift and I am grateful...so tonight I thank you Lord. I thank you for the parents, family, and friends that you have blessed me with. I thank you for the life experiences, and resources that you have given me. I thank you for bringing me to OSU and letting me go to medical school. I thank you for my wonderful (future) roommates, my parish and all of it's priests, and for all the people that you have brought into my life. Most importantly I thank you for loving me and saving me. I thank you for being present in the tabernacles of all the churches throughout the world and for waiting there, loving us even until the end of time.