Life

Well it's been a while since I've written...I guess I just haven't felt like it. So much has happened...and so much continues to plague my thoughts. I moved from Virginia..I had a WONDERFUL time saying goodbye to my friends (I'll post pictures later). Then I spent 2 weeks in Italy with my wonderful sister Etel and my parents. (I'll also post pictures of that later) Italy was amazing for many reasons, first of all it was italy...how could it not be amazing. Second of all, I feel like I started to reconnect with God. I began to pray again...don't get me wrong..I'm still far from where I should be but I feel that He wooed me while I was there. He showed me just how much He loves me. It was wonderful.
So I returned home to devestation fromHurricane Gustav. My family and home are fine but many other places (including our beach house) are not. I started work and am now in the full swing of things. It's a fast paced environment and working 2 jobs is a little strenuous. Yesterday and today I will be working from 8-5 in my normal job and then 6-10pm at the ER. It's a little crazy!!! But it's also a good glimpse and life from here on out.
The exciting news is that I have been offered 4 interviews at medical schools. This month I will be interviewing at Tulane, and Louisiana State University in New Orleans. Next month I'll be in interviewing at Georgetown, and then in November I'll be interviewing at New York Medical College. (also in November I'll be visiting Honduras with my mother to see my friend graduate from school!!!).
All in all life is good...I have no complaints...I'm still learning to live again and I'm still praying for you all!! God bless!

Reflections on Life

Well it's hard to believe that in less than a week I will be done with my post-bac program. Today is Wednesday, and on Friday the movers come to store my stuff, and I'm packing what can fit in my little car for the next few weeks until I'm back in Baton Rouge. Monday is my orgo lab final and I'm incredibly unprepared for it. I'm realizing just how much work I have to do, and yet still not doing it. In two weeks I will again be a resident of Louisiana, with a real paying job and real responsibilities. Meanwhile, I'm continuing to work on my secondary applications for medical school and praying for grace and wisdom in this process.

Needless to say, with all these changes I've been prompted to reflect a bit. Last Friday I was getting ready for work and I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror...I couldn't help but think "wow...how things have changed in a year. What a far cry from a missionary I am now." I think it's a number of things but I know that I have changed. I've found not only my outward apperance but also my soul and my demeanor.

While I Honduras I worked hard on talking less and listening more. On being aware of how I was percieved by other people and becoming less bossy and demanding. Here in the states I've returned to the bossy, center of attention, rude person that I was before. And I can't tell you how much it saddens me. I want so desperately to be holy, to be humble, and to be gentle. Yet, I still fail to be quiet. I see myself succumbing to stress, and anxiety and lashing out at others. Failing to be a witness of Christ's love daily in my thoughts, words, and actions. I have also found myself change in apperance. I can rationalize some of it by saying, well I'm going to be a doctor and I have to look presentable. To an extent it's true, but it still surprises me when I look in the mirror and see someone else staring back at me. The worst part is that I fear I've lost my joy, and my ability to be a friend. I've been so focused on myself and what I needed to do this year that I wonder if I can actually have real friendships and conversations again. I don't know if I can...and that scares me. It scares me that I want to spend most of my time alone now and not talking to people because I just don't feel like it. It's such a hard thing to explain...the lonliness and the detachment.

I don't mean to imply that this year has been all bad. I still get a rush every time I walk into the hospital. I'm still fascinated and enthralled with the science of medicine and there is still a certain amount of pride when I realize that I'm going to be a doctor. And now that my MCAT is back and my secondary applications are coming in it's starting to be more and more real...I will be a doctor. That excites me..and it scares me all at the same time.

I don't really know the point of all this...I guess just to reflect on how much I've changed. It seems like my life in Honduras was a different lifetime and a different person. I still yearn to be back there...and yet I wonder if I can ever go back or if I was ever really there. I doubt that anyone there would recognize me anymore...so drastically have I changed. And maybe I haven't changed much externally...but I can't even explain how different and foreign I feel internally. I feel like I have aged many years in the last 15 months and yet at the same time I fear how fast life is moving. And worse yet, I fear that I'm not living life but only watching it. It goes by so fast...

So I'll return to Louisiana to find myself again and spend the year working. First I'm going to Fredericksburg and Virginia Beach and Richmond to say my good-bye's. Then back to Louisiana to be with my family and start my job. Please pray for me and I will continue to pray for you.

MCAT and my birthday...el MCAT y mi cumpleanos

So I've begun the final countdown. A week from yesterday is the date of my MCAT (the Medical College Admissions Test). I continue to study hard, relax a little, and beg for everyone's prayers and intercession. For the moment I have a surprising amount of peace...(that might be because I'm trying to not think about it too much) nonetheless, prayers are greatly appreciated. I have to believe that since I have done all that I can do, the Lord will do the rest.

I have entrusted my MCAT, as well as the rest of my life, to the blessed Virgin Mary. Since doing my consecration to her over a year ago, so much has changed in my life, and for the better. I know that she wants the best for me, because she wants what her son wants and as my spiritual director always says "jenny, just remember this equation: God's will= my true good." So, I have consecrated and given over all of it to her...trusting that all will be well. I am praying a novena to Our Lady and invite all of you to pray with me. (obviously not the novena b/c my test is in 6 days). But still...please keep me in your prayers on Friday, June 13th at 8am Central Time until 1pm central time.

Also, yesterday was my 25th birthday...a little traumatic to be a quarter of a century and spend it in the medical school library...but I have a feeling that that is what much of my life will be like from now on and I accept it. If that is the cross God has given me I understand and embrace it. So, other than studying and freaking out occasionally, that is pretty much all there is to my life. You all remain in my thoughts and prayers...and please keep me in yours. God bless!

(some friends from my program and I on my birthday; yo con algunos amigos de mi programa en el dia de mi cumpleanos)

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

bueno...he empezado la cuenta final. En 6 dias voy a tomar mi MCAT (Prueba de entrada a la universidad de medicina- ie Medical College Admissions Test). Sigo estudiando dura, relajando a vezes, y mendigar por sus oraciones. Por el momento tengo paz...no se si es porque estoy tratando de no pensar en el examen o si es porque Dios esta dandome una gracia gigante...no me importa. Que es lo mas importante para mi ahora es que puedo guardar la paz en mi corazon. Sus oraciones son importante y estoy bien agradecida a uds por ofrecerles. Tengo que creer que he hecho todo que puedo hacer, y que lo demas esta en el poder y los manos de Dios.

He entregado y consagrado mi MCAT (y mi vida) a la Santisimia Virgin Maria. Desde mi cosagracion a ella hace mas que un ano, mucho ha pasado y cambiado en mi vida. Se que ella esta guiandome y se que ella esta ayudandome de acercar mas a su hijo. Se que la voluntad de ella esta (porsupuesto) lo mismo que la voluntad de su Hijo. Es como mi director espiritual siempre esta diciendome, "jenny, recurda esta equation, La voluntad de Dios= la buena verdadera para mi vida" Entonces, sigo recordando mi misma que todo esta en los manos de Dios. Y he empezado una novena a la Virgin para mi examen. Les pido que rezan para mi a ella, o a San Antonio, Santa Rita, Santa Gianna, San Lucas, o San Raphael para mi examen (o a todos si quieren) Si pueden recordarme en sus oraciones y ayunas mi examen es la proxima Vierenes

Vierenes, 13 de Junio desde la 8 en la manana tiempo central hace la 1 en la tarde.

Tambien, ayer cumple 25 anos. Es estrando de estar 25 y de pasar todo el dia en la bibloteca...pero creo es como mi vida de este punto mas seria...y si esto es la cruz que Dios me ha dado...le acepto con humildad (y quejando de vez en cuando tambien). Entonces, menos estudiando y andando en la misa, esto es mi vida. Por favor, rezand para mi...y uds quedan siempre en mi corazon y mis oraciones. Que Dios les bendiga!!

PRAISE GOD!! final grade count

well for anyone who is keeping track...I must share on my blog because this is just the fulfillment of all that I have prayed for this year (well almost all...kicking butt on the MCAT will be all). Anyway, my final grades for the semester are in and God's faithfullness is clearly seen!!

Organic Chemistry : A+ (quimica organica)
Biology : A (biologia)
Biology Lab : A (laboratorio de biologia)
Physics: A (fisica)
Physics Lab : A- (laboratorio de fisica)

My GPA for this semester is 3.977!!! I promise I'm not saying any of this to gloat...I just really need to rejoice that all my hard work has paid off!! PRAISE GOD!!!! Now off to study for the MCAT!!

solo estaba diciendo mis notas finales...y alabando a Dios!! No estoy tratando de parecer llena de gloria para mi misma...solo estoy contandoles porque estoy TAN agradedcida a Dios! Todo mi trabajo vale la pena ya!! Bueno tengo que irme y estudiar!

oh...and here are some pics...mothers day with the fam and the cutest baby in the world.

(aqui son algunas fotos...dia del madre con mi familia...y el bebe mas lindo en todo el mundo!!)

end of the semester= el fin de semestre

well the semester is over...and God is faithful (big surprise). The biggest and best surprise of all was my 97.5 on my physics final!! I only missed one question!! PRAISE GOD!!! He has been so faithful to me this semester. It looks as though my final grades will be A- (physics lab), A (physics), A+ (organic chemistry), A (Biology), and hopefully an A- in Bio lab. The hard work has paid off!!

My parents were in town for "graduation" this past weekend. It was basically just a dinner but it was great for them to be able to meet all my friends and teachers. I continue studying though as the MCAT is fast approaching (June 13th!!!!). Please continue to keep me in your prayers as you are all in mine.

bueno, el semestre ya esta terminado. y Dios es FIEL!! (que sorpresa) La sorpresa mas grande y incredible es mi 97.5 en mi final de fisica (yo solo perdi una pregunta!!). ALABALO!!! Dios estaba tan fiel este semestre...parece que mis notas finales serian A- (laboratorio de fisica), A (fisica), A+ (quimica organica), A (biologia), y ojala A- en mi laboratorio de biologia. Mi trabajo ya tiene fruta!!

Mis padres estaban aqui el fin de semana pasado para mi "graduacion". NO fue un graduacion verdadero porque no voy a ganar una degree. Pero fue una cena bien linda con mis amigos y profesores. Fue bueno para mis padres de tener la oportunidad de conocer mis amigos y todos. Sigo estudiando porque mi MCAT esta acercando rapido (13 de Junio!!!). Por favor sigen rezando para mi...como yo para uds!

quote for my life right now...cita para mi vida

"One thing Jesus asks of me: that I lean on him; that in him and only in him I put complete trust; that I surrender myself to him unreservedly. Even when all goes wrong and I feel as if I am a ship without a compass, I must give myself completely to him. I must not attempt to control God's action; I must not count the stages in the journey he would have me make. I must not desire a clear perception of my advance upon the road, must not know precisely where I am upon the way of holiness. I ask him to make a saint of me, yet I must leave to him the choice of the saintliness itself and still more the means which leads to it."
-Bl. Teresa of Calcutta

I remind myself of this daily...I beg for holiness but must allow Him to do as He wills. Jesus...I trust in YOU!!

"Una cosa Jesus pregunta de mi: que enclino en El; que el El y solo en El pongo todo mi confianza; que entrego mi misma a El sin reservaciones. Incluso cuando va todo mal y siento como soy barca sin compas, tengo que dar mi misma completamente a El. No puedo intentar controllar los acciones de Dios; yo puedo contar los nieveles de jornada El hizo que tomara. Yo no puedo desear una percepcion claro de mi avance en el camino, no puedo saber precisamente donde estoy en el camino de la santidad. Yo lo pregunto de hacerme una santa, pero tengo que dejarLo de elegir el typo de santidad y ademas, lo camino que me guia a la santidad." - Beata Madre Teresa

no se si la traduccion es correcto pero trato!!

meme

I was tagged by Michelle for this meme...and it's a happy one...so here goes..

Fun Meme

Rules of the meme:
1. Post these rules of the game first.
2. Each player answers the questions about themselves.
3. At the end of the post, the player then tags 5 people and posts their names. Then the tagger goes to the blogs of those who have been tagged & leaves a comment letting new players know they’ve been tagged. The tagger asks them to find the meme and instructions back at his/her blog.

What I was doing 10 years ago:
10 years ago I was 14, almost fifteen...I would have been finishing my freshmen year in highschool. Right about this time I had just been chosen to be on the dance team and was preparing to finish classes and spending all day preparing for UDA camp over the summer. Other than that I really have no idea!! oh, and I was preparing to go to the Catholic Leadership Institute at Notre Dame over the summer. That's how I got involved with Diocesan Youth Board...I traveled a lot that summer I just don't remember what all I did.

Five things on my To Do List today:
1) read physics chapter on realtivity to prepare for the quiz I have in 2 hours
2) read physics chapter on atomic spectra to prepare for lab tonight
3) say the rosary/ pray
4) study for my organic chemistry exam
5) read about dissecting sheep hearts for lab tomorrow

Five things I would do if I were a billionaire:
1) finish builidng the missioners house in Honduras
2) tithe a lot of money to the church
3) invest
4) buy a house and some land and help daniel and michelle with the catholic couples community
5) support catholic missionaries, and the work of the church everywhere (ie. donate to homeless shelters, schools, etc) Whatever would help the poor the most...

sorry that's not a very good answer but I'm not a billionaire so it's hard for me to say

Three of my bad habits:
1) procrastinating
2) impatience and sarcasm
3) lack of prayer

Five places I have lived:
1) Honolulu, HI- II was born there and lived there for 3 years
2) Baton Rouge, LA- grew up there
3) Boston, MA- went to college there (wooohoo Go EAGLES)
4) Comayagua, Honduras- Catholic missionary there for 2 years
5) Charlottesville, VA- grad school here right now...

Five jobs I’ve had:
so technically I've never had a job because I never get paid for the things I do...but I'll put down some volunteer stuff
1). Catholic missionary in Honduras with Missioners of Christ
2) Children's Special Health Services- worked with the medicare clinic and help do intakes with patients, followed doctors around, pretended to be a med student
3) Assistant at my mom's office in high school- did weighing and measuring, and blood pressures on patients, filed charts, etc
4) Campus School Volunteers, Special Events chair- organized parties for special needs kids...I must say I did a rockin' good job too!!
5) babysitter...still do it...actually get paid for this one...and I LOVE IT!! :)


okay...I don't really have anyone to tag b/c I don't know anyone who michelle didn't already tag...so sorry the meme stops here!